Have you ever been flying high in the sky (metaphorically speaking, of course) and then suddenly, it's like you your wings were cut off?
I had a successful launch and I thank all of you for it! You connected with me leading up to it, on the big day, and afterwards. I felt your fierceness cheering me on! When everything seemed to be going my way, a hiccup occurred. As I processed the situation, I found myself grateful for the resilience in which I've been able to build through the years.
What is your headspace when you hit one of life's roadblocks? Are you able to move through it seamlessly or do you catch yourself unravelling? Although I think I've experienced my fair share of a hard knock life and would like to pass on the next challenge heading my way, I know that won't happen. Quite honestly, I'm okay that it doesn't because all of my experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. You have the ability to build your resilience so that your headspace stays positive and strong. Here are three ways to start:
"Resilience is the learned ability to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again." - Michele D. Cameron
I cannot say this enough, fierce friends, it doesn't matter the size of the step, forward is forward. With the above approaches, you'll keep moving in that direction!
If you're feeling stuck, are unclear on how to act in alignment with your goals, or are trying to figure out your goals, connect with me. We'll set up a quick Discovery Call to determine where I can support you.
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In which areas in life do you express gratitude? One of the first moments of the day I give thanks is when I rise and again when I hear my husband quietly breathing beside me.
Amy Morin, psychotherapist and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, highlights 7 scientifically proven benefits to giving thanks. Learn the benefits here. The challenge many of us have is determining how to start and sustain a gratitude practice. If this is something on your list of 'to do's', I offer you this advice - start small and keep it simple. More specifically, consider this approach:
Interested in really feeling the intrinsic benefits of your new gratitude practice while adding a bright moment to someone's day? When you express gratitude for someone being in your life or something that someone said/did/offered, take an extra moment immediately after your gratitude practice to share it with them!
Want to tackle and successfully accomplish some of the bigger practices you've been trying to achieve? Let's chat! With the right support, I'll help you make this easier than you think.
When you read the subject of this post what did you think? Did you think of the song by Dionne Warwick, What the world needs now?
I don't think the world needs love. Although it's a fine line, I believe that the world is in dire need of people who care. It's the quality that's lacking in the exchanges you're seeing play out in business, politics, and perhaps in your very own community's backyard. Think about these scenarios:
The common thread? The behaviour doesn’t show you that the person cared about you enough to provide good service, speak kindly to you, or safely share the road with you.
For you soft hearted, caring people of the world, you make caring about people look easy with your random check-ins, kind comments and ability to remember details that are important to your colleague/friend/family/doctor/masseuse/ etc. Injecting 'care' into how you show up in life is harder for some than others. However, as a leader, if you want to connect with, engage, and support your team, you'll need to show them that you care about them as a person. I've identified three ways.
Tip 1 - Be generous. Expect nothing in return. A European friend of mine immigrated to Canada a few years ago and had quite a culture shock. He was astounded by the number of people who appeared generous with their time at his workplace but afterwards, expected something in return. Where he was from, a handshake meant something, good deeds were done out of kindness, and no one expected something from someone else unless the person offered it.
Whether it's a small or large favour, perform it with no expectation of a return. Be a servant leader.
Tip 2 - Listen & Observe. Act on what you've heard or watched. We listen but don't necessarily hear the message. Stop multitasking (even if you claim you're great at it) and tune into the spoken words or the sentiment of the words left unsaid.
There's a lot we can glean from people if we care enough to hear their story and act on it in some small way (of course, with no expectation of a return).
Tip 3 - Ask more. Talk less. I often say, “stay curious”. You may have seen articles from scholars or business experts speaking of the power of curiosity. The skill of humbling oneself to give the stage to someone else is the practice used by past and present highly successful, innovative leaders. Staying curious doesn't happen naturally for most of us. We need to be consciously deliberate in our conversations to remain in that zone. It's harder than you think but it's invaluable if you master it.
As Ghandhi is most famously quoted as saying (or misquoted, depending on your view), "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Be the change you wish to see at your workplace, community, home, or with professional associations. You already know that it starts with you. What's your next move going to be?
How are you showing up at work or at home? Send me an email, as I'd love to help you explore that further.
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I am a statistic.
No. I'm not a Nobel Peace winner, I haven't won a Women of Distinction award, and my TikTok video hasn't gone viral. In my wildest thoughts I didn't imagine being a statistic and I definitely didn't think I'd be a part of the one I am. Sometimes in life (it's rare that you'll hear me say this), you don't have a choice.
I am one of the one in five Canadians who experienced a mental health problem or illness in any given year.
I've started to share my story for many reasons with three reasons being that:
Let's live in our authenticity together and create a climate that welcomes others to live authentically, too. Start today.
If you feel the urge right now to reach out to me to chat, do it. I'm not a counsellor, but I've got a great ear, I've learned a few things in life I'd happily share with you, and I want you to live the fierce life you deserve.
(By the way, stop looking. I never made a TikTok video;))
I'm going to share something with you that will change your mindset and change your life. You know I always talk about the power of your headspace. Let me give you some insight into my headspace that is top level information for you to become the person and leader you desire.
If you're like me, you value your introspective nature and the great insight gained from slowing life down and tuning into your thoughts and feelings. One of the things I've been ruminating on is regaining the physical agility, strength and mental stamina I used to have before major life and career changes caused me to lose it. Actually, scratch that. Major life and career changes may have impacted it, but the truth of the matter is that I made choices that didn't align with keeping fitness as one of my core values. I'm on a mission to return my fitness to an optimal state.
Have you recently checked in on where you're at with living your values? List your top 10 values and rate them on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being that you couldn't live those values any more if you tried). Where are you at? Be honest with yourself. Notice how real I was with myself and all of you a moment ago? You need to be that real in answering that question to yourself. Only through truth will our minds shift to a place of deep analysis and realization. What steps do you need to take to live your values at the level you desire? Set bigger goals? Try harder next time? Those approaches won't work in isolation.
Here's my approach. I've used it in so many areas in my life that I guarantee that it will work for you but only if you trust and fully see through the process.
I determine who I want to be and ensure that the majority of my choices (i.e., my habits) in every moment in life align with the identity I'm pursuing. In case you're wondering, it's not a false or inauthentic identity, it's a different way of looking at goal formation and the achievement of them. For example, instead of driving to the local convenient store, I ask myself, "Would an athlete make that choice?" The answer is 'no', an athlete wouldn't and I get ready to go for a walk or I hop on the pedal bike for a ride.
The more choices you make in alignment with the person you want to be, the more you become that person.
The shift in mindset is so critical that it's important to watch how you speak about yourself and whether your words and phrases are in alignment with the identity you want to be. Let's say I am trying to quit smoking and someone offers me a cigarette. I could say, "No, thanks. I'm trying to quit." which then implies that I'm still smoker. If I were to say instead, "No, thanks. I don't smoke." my brain believes even more that I'm not a smoker and it reinforces my thought process and my decisions (i.e., my habits) that align with the identity I want to be. I was on a bike ride with my husband the other day and about six kilometers in we started going up this long incline. Inclines often challenge me so he mentioned that we could stop any time. I said, "No, thanks. I'm an athlete." Someone overhearing my comment might question whether I'm an athlete but that's okay! In my mind, I'm an athlete and an athlete would tune into their mental game and keep going. I kept going.
Small changes. Big impact. James Clear speaks about this in his book, Atomic Habits.
How does this connect to your work life? Very easily. What type of leader do you want to be? Before you miss a deadline without giving the person a heads up, take credit for someone else's work, or lose control of your emotions, think before you act and ask yourself, "Would the leader I want to be make this same choice or behave the same way?" If the answer is 'no' then act accordingly.
Interested in doing a values exercise to determine your top values and how you're living them, or unpacking the leader or person you want to be? Send me a quick email. I'd love to chat with you. With the right support, I'll help you make this easier than you think.